"Can exes be friends without ulterior motives? Such as; the theory that states that they would want to watch you fail, want to get back together with you, or just make life harder for you?"
-Yes, (If you're gay)
-Maybe (If you're straight)
Why the yes and maybe? Here's why.
- The yes, if you're gay, because well if you're gay most of the time (not all BUT most)you are able to remain friends because in most lesbian circles of friends are composed of exes and exes of exes, and even though jealousy can play a part in this "game". It usually is somehow kept at bay because literally what goes around comes around in this "game" of lesbian exes. For example, you were dating this one person and you guys mutually ended it and you or the other person start dating another friend or an ex of a friend. As you can see here the law of the friend that doesn't date/go out with the friend's ex, in other words that law doesn't apply ...as much. Maybe if you respect your friends you won't date their ex and avoid all that drama. Here's a little code that I live by and well to an extent it tends to work.
1. Don't date friends.(if it doesn't work out it makes the friendship weird.)
2.Don't date anyone that is on you Facebook, tumblr, youtube, or twitter friend list. (other
people may get involved in your relationship because of the "social network setting."
3. Don't date a friend's relative, makes the friendship part difficult on both ends, and if
You break up; you might have to end up breaking up with the family too.
4. Don't date you guy friend's current/ex girlfriend. (Guys tend to turn into asses if you do,
Something having to do with their manhood? IDK)
5. Do not, DO NOT DATE A FRIENDS MOM! No matter how hott that MILF may be, just don't. BAD NEWS.
The 5 D's in other words.
So in short if you're gay yes you can make the friendship after sexual relationship work but it's not written in stone that the situation can get a bit sticky. Now, in a "straight" relationship, things tend to be a little more difficult and different to a certain extent. Now I'm not saying that it won't work because indeed it can, and that guy/girl
can turn into the bestest friend you have ever had but then again on the other hand he/she can turn into your worst nightmare and may try to murder you, so if you are thinking about having a psycho ex as a friend, do yourself a favor and get yourself a firearm and learn to use it or take some self defense lessons and brace yourself.
**Note to self** ***Remember to save the five ways to a psycho ex and post for another time***
I am not entirely saying that your ex (if you're straight) is going to turn into an enormous psycho but I am just saying that you should just prepare yourself if bad comes to worse. There should be some therapy for psycho exes if there isn't already. Or some sort of meds for it. Sure in a straight or gay relationship there are a fair amount of jealous people to fulfill those spots but, I'm not saying that all straight guys or girls are jealous but there is a lot of jealousy. So first thing is if you and your ex are going to try and remain friends there should be a mutual agreement on both ends that jealousy won't be an issue in the friendship because keep in mind, you guys are friends now. So with that in mind on you go into the world of being friends with your ex.
Personally, I can see where the ex would be friends with you or you would be friends with your ex just to see them fail at life and just to be in first row to watch him/her fail at well whatever it may be. Which come on that's just stupid and immature of you just to be entertained by others failed attempts and just failure in general, GET ANOTHER HOBBY.
I think that they could make your life harder too because first think of it this way you have been with this person for a while and each of you know certain things about each other that only a few others may know or not know so they "know you". And then for there to be a relationship there are feelings, well in most scenarios there are, so seeing that person you had feelings for and not being able to act on those feelings well it gets hard. And usually if any of you or both of you are seeing someone then well there is the factor that one of you or both may end up cheating on someone, and that someone will end up hurt and then this circle of hurt and just bad karma will be in the air. NO GOOD.
In conclusion, I have mixed feelings for being friends with your ex; if you're gay well to me personally yes I think it can work out. That's not saying that it won't be hard to be there when your ex has a new girlfriend or "roommate". Now if you're straight it depends on how serious you guys are about being "just" friends nothing else.
Please remember, take time after you end a relationship, because those feelings of hurt and hatred may arise and well the friend won't really happen the way it should, so take a break from each other and as well as from seeing other people then try the friendship thing or if you feel really bad ass then try out the whole "let's try this again" thing. In the end Good luck to all of you in your relationship endeavors and I'm done.
If you have any comments, critiques, or ideas for next weeks entry feel free to email me of msg me on my Tumblr or send me a vid response on Youtube. Links below.
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